Helping Your Child Grow During Quarantine

Source: pexels.com

When I was a little girl, I wanted to be a kindergarten teacher, so I could spend time with kids and be able to teach them the things I knew. Basically, all I wanted was to see them grow and discover the things they were passionate about. Eventually, I realized that my heart was in a different place, and so I chose to spend time with my nieces and nephews, so at the very least, I could still see how they developed.

Continue reading →

Why Parents Should Be Open About Depression

why-parents-should-be-open-about-depression
Source: rawpixel.com

I recall attending the 2019 Children Convention with my husband and our three kids, aged 5, 8, and 11 years old. It was memorable because I only realized that the primary topic was childhood depression when we were already sitting. At the time, I could not decide if we should stay or haul the entire family back home. It felt like the topic was not too suitable for kids, but my spouse coaxed me into staying, so we did.

You must admit that talking about depression is scary in front of kids who still believe in Santa and tooth fairy. Parents like me can never be blamed for wanting to shield the young ones from such dark topics. Still, I am genuinely glad that my children are already aware that depression exists because:

why-parents-should-be-open-about-depression
Source: rawpixel.com

It Makes Kids Knowledgeable About The Adverse Effects Of Mental Disorder
Knowledge has always been associated with power, and I agree with that notion. When a child knows that there is a mental disorder called depression, it allows them to realize that it is not to be taken lightly. Otherwise, the depressive episodes may aggravate and push a person to self-harm.

You may ask, “Can’t I save the depression talk for when my kid turns 18?” Well, you most certainly can—that’s up to you. But I won’t recommend it because self-harmers are getting younger than ever. You don’t want your kids to hear about it from their classmates and think that it’s cool to do.

why-parents-should-be-open-about-depression
Source: rawpixel.com

It Helps Kids Empathize With Depressed Friends
My children grew up playing with our neighbor’s only daughter Jenny (not her real name). My husband and I did not notice a behavioral change in Jenny whenever she would come to the house. She always spoke politely and participated in our family games. So, I felt so shocked when my eldest daughter came home from school and said, “Mom, my teacher caught Jenny self-cutting in the bathroom today.”

Of course, my initial reaction was to advise my child to stop hanging out with Jenny. I couldn’t help it; it was my protective instinct kicking in. However, my level-headed kid told me that Jenny might need a friend now more than ever. The fact that my daughter remembered that from the convention made me want to weep in happiness, considering it helped bring out my child’s empathy.

Final Thoughts
The need to protect my children from any potential danger may forever remain in me. Despite that, going to the said convention with them has shown me that it is healthy to enlighten kids about a mental disorder like depression at times. That’s the only way to keep them from experiencing it unconsciously in the future.

Positive Parenting: Raising A Functional Teenager

When children grow as teenagers, most profound changes happen between the parent and teen relationship. It becomes more challenging for parents to interact with their children due to the limited amount of time they could spend together. Teenagers will go through a period when they try to act independently and assertive towards their parents. Teens would want to enjoy more with the privacy of their room, will be homeless often enjoying freedom with their friends and their social life.  

Source: pixabay.com

Continue reading →

Types Of Parenting And Their Effects On Children

Source: pixabay.com

The way you handle your child is vital in determining what kind of person he becomes in the future. This is why you need to ensure yourself that your parenting style supports your child’s growth and development because how you discipline her and show her how much you love her through the way you are as a parent will affect her for the rest of her life.

The Four Parenting Styles

  1. Authoritative

The authoritative parent may sound like this:

  • When he informs his child of the rules, he explains them clearly.
  • He tries his best to create and keep a positive interaction with his child.
  • He is strict with his rules and implementing the consequences, but he considers his child’s feelings.

Are you authoritative? These kinds of parents are stringent, but they never forget to acknowledge his child’s suggestions. Although they want to be clear that they are completely in charge, they validate their child’s feelings and listen to what they have to say. They are also for positive reinforcement and discipline, such as implementing the reward and punishment system. Children whose parents are authoritative are reportedly happy and tend to be more successful in the future.

  1. Authoritarian

Authoritarian parents believe that:

  • Children should be visible only, but their words don’t matter.
  • Their feelings are not important and should not be considered.
  • Their rules are unbent and inconsiderate.

If you have been disciplining your child this way, then you are an authoritarian parent. You tend to force your kids to follow the rules without any exception. And if their kids ask them why, their famous line would be, “Because I said so.” Negotiation is a no-no, and obedience is a must without bending any rules. Children with authoritarian parents grow to have low self-esteem and have a likelihood of being aggressive and hostile.

Source: pixabay.com

  1. Permissive

If you are a permissive parent, you tend to:

  • Rarely implement or establish consequences.
  • Not enforce the rules that you set for your child.
  • Let your child grow and learn with little supervision and monitoring from you.

Being permissive is actually being lenient, and they don’t stress themselves with petty issues but only come in when the problem is severe. Permissive parents are quite tolerant and believe that kids will always be kids, so they just let them. They are usually more comfortable with their children growing up feeling like they’re friends with them, but just as they are lenient, they don’t put in much effort in helping them solve their problems. Thus, they most often have weak and insecure kids – kids who exhibit unpleasant behavior and poor decision-making skills. Additionally, these kids don’t develop good hygiene.

  1. Uninvolved

As the statement implies, you:

  • Spend very little time with your child, even though you may have the time.
  • You don’t care about your child’s school, homework, friends, or anything that may concern him.
  • You don’t usually know what your child does when he’s at home, or where he goes when he’s not home.

Children whose parents are uninvolved lack parental attention, guidance, and nurturing. Thus, their kids are trying to raise themselves because their parents don’t have time to commit to their basic needs, and worse, some of them do not know much about child-rearing.

Source: pixabay.com

Conclusion

There are times when parents don’t belong to the four types of styles, so don’t worry if there are instances or areas where you tend to be permissive or authoritarian. If you have the commitment and motivation to be the best parent you can be to your child, keep your mind open to suggestions and learn more about positive parenting. It’s not too late.

 

 

 

Considering Adoption: Are You Ready To Be An Adoptive Parent?

Source: pixabay.com

You and your spouse have been thinking of adopting from some time now. Your family and close friends are asking you what you’re waiting for while some are concerned about the concept of you having to raise a child that is not yours biologically. Whether there are a lot more who are against it or vice versa, the final decision must be made by you and your spouse, and it should be a decision that is not to be made with haste.

There are a lot of sources you can read from if you want to know more about adoption, and as you learn more about it, you’ll get to know the pros and cons of adopting a child. But regardless, here is a list of some questions you can ask yourself before deciding to go for adoption.

Do I have a thorough understanding of how adoption works?

Aside from being able to comprehend the different types of adoption, you must be aware of the federal, state, and international laws that are involved in the process of adoption. Study how the system from beginning to end so that whatever happens along the way, you can deal with it without little to no frustrations. The more you understand the system, the better it will be for you and your spouse.

Am I patient?

The whole process of adopting can take time. In fact, it can take years before the confirmation to adopt is released, and for someone who wants to raise a child so badly, it can be pretty sad and depressing. So be sure you are patient enough to wait – and sometimes wait for nothing. If you can be patient with things like this, then you sure are ready to raise a child who can be the most stubborn and annoying human beings at times!

Source: pixabay.com

Are you emotionally strong or stable?

Adoption is a two-way street. It can bring out the best or the worst in you. No one knows how well they are at parenting until they have a child of their own, and that goes for you as an adoptive parent. You’ll know if you are good at it once you’ve managed to raise your adopted child to be a strong, kind, and happy person. But what if you’ll have to go through many challenges before you get to that stage? Are you strong and resilient enough to surpass these challenges? Or what if the adoption doesn’t push through in the first place? Be prepared emotionally and keep in mind that anything can happen.

Are you hesitant to deal with behavioral, emotional, and mental health problems?

Having children entails a lot of things, including the potential for perfect or imperfect health. Adoptive parents must be aware of the effects that trauma has on foster or adopted children. Also, you should acknowledge that your child may have potential issues that he may be facing. You can also ask about his biological parents and family, although sometimes that would be impossible.

Do you have a strong support system?

Do you have an understanding family and supportive friends who are with you in this journey? This means that whatever happens, you have a support network that you can lean on to help you deal with whatever you may be facing. If your family and significant others understand what you are going through and they are willing to support and guide you all the way, then you are stronger than you think. Connect with them regardless of whether the adoption pushes through or not.

Do you feel that adoption is your calling?

Source: pixabay.com

This question is vital in that it reflects how much the adoption means to you. When you think about adopting, what goes through your mind? Is it the responsibility, the sense of just having a kid, or is it a sense of fulfillment of having to take care and love a child like your own? You must have a strong and meaningful purpose of why you are adopting.

Final Thoughts

Being an adoptive parent is a challenge as well as a blessing. A lot of adoptive families have been happy making wonderful memories together, keeping them strong and fulfilled. Do you think you are ready to take on the challenge and the blessing? If you say yes, then start the process right now. Seize the opportunity! Good luck!

 

 

 

How To Be A More Effective Parent

Source: pixabay.com

Raising a child is among the hardest and yet the most satisfying jobs in the world. It is also one that you are hesitant to do because you might feel that you’re not ready to take on the responsibility of being a parent.

Below is a list of strategies that you can follow to help you become a more effective parent.

  • Find Ways To Boost Your Kid’s Self-Esteem. Part of your responsibility as a parent is raising your child to be loving and confident. Always tell him that he’s special and that he is unique. Teach him how to take advantage of his skills by showing them and not hiding them. Support him in his hobbies like sports or any activity that is beneficial for his mental and emotional growth. And when he accomplishes something, remember to praise him for a job well done. Boosting your child’s confidence will help him be whatever he wants to be.
  • Discipline Consistently. Disciplining your child is essential in every family, and it takes many forms. However, you must choose to discipline your child consistently and respectfully. This means that you set your limitations in terms of the rules and guidelines and the necessary consequences that you enforce on him. Give him house rules that are stringent enough for you to be able to check on him, but with sufficient freedom, for him to be able to grow. If he breaks a rule, be consistent in enforcing the consequence. Maybe a first warning would be fair before the final ‘punishment.’

Source: pixabay.com

  • Have Kids’ Time. Spending time with the family is one thing, but having kids’ time is another. This can mean that you must spare a few hours each day to talk with each of them, asking them how they are and how’s school. On the weekends, you can watch a movie or if you’re on a budget, just have a cook session with them. It’s a creative activity that allows parents and kids to bond. If you’re a working mom or dad, let your kids understand that the time you spend with them may be short but precious and with much effort.
  • Practice What You Preach. Children learn better when they are following an adult, so whatever good you are teaching them, you must also do. If you want them to be responsible at home, start with you. Help your spouse with the chores at home. Be respectful. Talk in ways that you understand each other. When reprimanding your children, do it in a mild tone of voice. Whatever you do, remember that the younger generation is looking at you to be their role model in everything.
  • Teach Your Kids To Be Active In The Community. If you want your children to learn how to socialize, explain to them why it is important to join community activities. Don’t just let them do things because you want them to. Encourage them to volunteer in soup kitchens or watch community dialogues so that they will meet fellow community members and establish camaraderie and cultivate values like kindness, generosity, and compassion. Listen to their suggestions as well and let them know that they are appreciated.
  • Love Them, Unconditionally. Teaching, guiding, and correcting your kid are examples of ways to show that you love them. It is in how you do these things that will make all the difference. When you talk with them, do not judge or criticize them with hurtful words. If you made a mistake and you need to enforce the consequence, don’t forget to tell them that you love them unconditionally and that consequences are there to teach them what is right from wrong.

Source: pixabay.com

  • Take Care Of Yourself. In the middle of taking care of your children and your family, do take care of yourself. If you overdo the parenting responsibility, it can take a toll on your wellness, and it’ll affect not only you but the rest of the family as well. It is quite a fulfillment to be able to see your family happy, but please remember that it also includes you. Find time to address your needs so that you will be healthy and able to do what it takes to raise a happy, healthy, and productive family.

 

 

 

Parenting Manual: Raising Your Kids To Be Responsible

Source: pixabay.com

When you teach a child to be loving, kind, and responsible, you are helping him learn how to be a reliable and trustworthy adult who is accountable for his actions. Find out how to do it through these simple strategies.

  • Let them start at a young age. A five or six-year-old may have trouble washing the dishes, but she can set the table or return her toys after playing. These easy tasks are basic and can train them to do more complicated tasks in the future.
  • For them to follow instructions properly, show them first how it’s done, and then let them do it themselves. Answer their questions clearly and be thorough in what you want them to accomplish. When you do the task, make sure you’re doing it the way you want them to do it. Kids are great imitators, and they are even much eager to do something when it is shown to them.
  • When they’ve tried doing simple tasks, let them teach their siblings or playmates how something should be done. It’s a good way for them to remember tasks by heart, and they love feeling like they’re little leaders.

Source: pixabay.com

  • Be a role model. What you want to teach your kids, practice it yourself. Don’t try to instill respect in them and then just shout at your spouse and reprimand them inappropriately. By being responsible, loving, reliable, and empathic inwardly and outwardly, it will be easier for you to instill these values unto them.
  • Don’t hesitate to apologize when you’ve done something wrong. Some kids think that their parents never make mistakes, and they feel frustrated when we scold them for things they do. Let them know that we’re human too, and we do make mistakes, and there’s no shame in making one. The shame is when you do something wrong and don’t do something about it. Accepting fault is also part of learning how to take responsibility for our actions.
  • When you reprimand, try not to yell, nag, or criticize them. This will do no good for their emotional development and rather hurt their self-esteem, especially if you do it in front of many people. Sometimes, it might be difficult to control your temper, but we might need to take a breather first before we do so. Correcting and teaching do not include judging.
  • Designate a task for your child to do within the family. This doesn’t only make him feel like he belongs but also makes him grow up with the notion that responsibilities are part of life whether you’re young or old. Watering the garden is an exercise and task at the same time. Feeding and walking your pet dog, if you have, is also something that he can do.

Source: pixabay.com

  • Work home chores as a family to remind your child that it’s not more on the chores but the act of responsibly following through them and having a task like everyone else in the family.
  • Along with teaching responsibility to your child is the loving reminder that she is loved so much. It is the love that is fueling you as a parent to teach your child to be good and kind and to be the best son or daughter and person and ready to take on the future with confidence.

 

 

Things You Are And Aren’t Responsible For As A Parent

things-you-are-and-arent-responsible-for-as-a-parent
Source: rawpixel.com

Nowadays, parents like us are frequently the targets of criticism about our parenting styles. It seems that some people have standard guidelines of what a good and a bad parent is, which is why often we begin to doubt how we are as a parent to our child. We tend to listen to what our relatives, friends, or the media have to say about us, and we then begin to compare ourselves to other parents. But what’s important is to set aside your guilt, remorse, worry, or stress about what you’re responsible for as a parent – and what you’re not.

I talked to a parent coach, and I suddenly asked him if I had the chance to be a great parent. He said that it was never impossible. He gave a list of some of the things that a parent should be responsible for – and those that a parent should not mind.

  • You’re responsible for teaching your child self-care and other activities of daily living. You are tasked to help your child learn how to work his way through functioning independently according to his age. However, you are not responsible for spoon-feeding him when he reaches a more mature age. Don’t allow him to become too dependent on you to the point that he can’t still eat by himself at 12.

 

  • You’re responsible for teaching him to be physically and emotionally stable, but you’re not responsible for making them happy all the time. You build the foundation for your child’s emotional and physical stability, but as he grows older, you must let go of him slowly and allow him to be free to love, get hurt, and suffer the hurtful consequences. All these will make him a stronger and more resilient person. That’s a guarantee.
things-you-are-and-arent-responsible-for-as-a-parent
Source: rawpixel.com
  • You’re responsible for instilling in your child the value of taking responsibility for his actions. This means that you can initially train your child, for example, to wake up early when it’s weekdays. If they don’t, then they’ll have to deal with some consequences. However, you’re not responsible for controlling your child just because he has not done what he was asked to. Kids are endowed with a quick and smart mind that can go as far as learning all the rules in the house but not doing them. If this is the case, you’re not at all accountable for your child if his grades flank because your child has insomnia.

 

  • You’re responsible for guiding and watching over your child when he is sad, depressed, or angry. You must find a way to penetrate him and let him talk about how he feels. You can do this, but no, you are not responsible for asking for the approval of other parents. Just because your fellow parents don’t agree with your parenting style, you change them. Other parents or teachers may be obliged to teach your child some lesson or two, but not to you. No one knows better than your child, so it’s only you who knows when and how to change the parenting style.

 

  • You’re responsible for doing all that you can for the good of your child, but you are not responsible for doing what your child is supposed to be doing for himself. Because your child has gotten used to you picking his garbage, he tends to leave his garbage instead of cleaning it himself. For instance, he’s doing his homework in the living room, but you find out later that he left his things after he did homework. Don’t clean it up for him. Ask him to go back there and clean up before he goes to bed. Let him struggle sometimes, so he knows when he’s struggling.
things-you-are-and-arent-responsible-for-as-a-parent
Source: rawpixel.com

Conclusion

Remember that not one child is the same as another. Each of our children is unique, and no one knows them better than we do. You can get pieces of advice from other parents, as there is nothing wrong with listening and learning new things that our children can probably learn too. But don’t take away your right to be the expert on your child. In the end, you will still be making the tough decisions for him, especially when he’s not yet at the right age. Be there for your child. Although you want him to become independent, you can always watch him from afar, still loving him with all your heart.

 

 

 

How To Choose The Right Career Path

There are several things to remember when it comes to choosing a career path. The first thing that you must take note of is the fact that there is no perfect choice. You have to take a risk if you want to reach for your dreams. Otherwise, you will end up making a lot of mistakes in your profession. According to a psychologist, many people end up getting disappointed if they make rash decisions. As such, it is best for everyone to take the proper necessary time to consider each option presented to him or her before making a final choice.

 

Source: pixabay.com

 

If you believe that you are in a crossroad in your life as you do not know what direction to go, do not worry because we are going to discuss some of the practical techniques that you can use so that you can choose the right career path. Below are some of the things to remember:

 

Know Your Current Situation

 

You have to start by knowing where you are at this point in your life. Do you want the present circumstances that you encounter on a day-to-day basis? Or do you want to make some changes in your current situation? The answers to these inquiries or questions can help you in making better decisions that can affect your future. Aside from this, you must also figure out who you are so that you will not be easily confused with the unlimited career choices presented in front of you. Getting to know yourself and understanding your current life can allow you to discover what is best for you.

 

Get Advice From Elders

 

There are days when you would be clueless as to the kind of path to follow in this life. As already mentioned above, there is nothing to worry about this as it is only temporary. You can always do something about it, as long as you know how to balance the pros and cons of every choice. To make things easier on your part, it is suggested to seek advice from elders. Do not hesitate to ask for what your parents have to say about your career choices. However, keep in mind that you do not necessarily need to follow their advice. What is important is that you can get their opinions so that you can consider it in the decision-making process.

 

Source: pixabay.com

 

Research Your Options

 

Empty your mind and start visualizing your life five years from now. What are the things that you can see in your vision? What are the inner desires of your heart? List down the career options that you can think of, but be sure to limit it to at least five choices. After that, use these five options to inspire you to keep moving forward. To make this happen, you can start by researching the items on your list. Get all the information you can about each career type and study it. In so doing, you are increasing your knowledge about a particular profession, which will eventually help you in picking your choice. The nice thing about this is that it will allow you to make an informed decision right away.

 

Talk To Your Guidance Counselor

 

If you are still in the process of searching the right course to take in college, then be sure to take advantage of an opportunity to get in touch with the guidance counselor at school. The said professional has the right set of skills and experience in helping students make better decisions for their future. If you are fortunate, you can even ask for a career options test, which is administered by counselors. Take note that you can always ask several questions to the said counselor until you get all the right answers you need. It is best to set an appointment with your school counselor before barging into his office.

 

Source: pixabay.com

 

Take Your Time

 

As already emphasized earlier, you need to understand that rushing the decision process can lead to more errors and mistakes. If you do not want to encounter problems in the future, be sure to take your time in making a choice. Take all the time; you need to assess your current situation and think of how each option can affect your future. Since you need more time before you can make a choice, it is best if you will start thinking of your career path options as early as possible. Do not wait before it is too late as you may do something that you will regret in the future.

 

Be careful in choosing a career path because it will be your future.