Mental Health Of An Adopted Child


Every day there are new lives brought into this world, and every day there are parents who still yearn for a child. Some people are not as ready to become parents as some, while some parents feel an immense fear of child-rearing. To give you a fair idea on the matter, the United Nations Children’s Fund, more commonly known as UNICEF, estimates that there are 353,000 babies born every day. Every year, in the United States alone, there are 135,000 children put up for adoption.

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Family, Moving On With Life, And The Pandemic


We all feel fortunate to be born into a family. It is where we start to define ourselves, our world, our values. It lays the foundation of our being, our thinking, our feeling, and becomes our guiding force in life. We all want to belong to a family. It holds great importance in our social life because it provides love and support. Family members are meant to be there for each other, help one another in times of need, and be happy with one another and celebrate success together.

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Helping Your Child Grow During Quarantine


When I was a little girl, I wanted to be a kindergarten teacher, so I could spend time with kids and be able to teach them the things I knew. Basically, all I wanted was to see them grow and discover the things they were passionate about. Eventually, I realized that my heart was in a different place, and so I chose to spend time with my nieces and nephews, so at the very least, I could still see how they developed.

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Positive Parenting: Raising A Functional Teenager

When children grow as teenagers, most profound changes happen between the parent and teen relationship. It becomes more challenging for parents to interact with their children due to the limited amount of time they could spend together. Teenagers will go through a period when they try to act independently and assertive towards their parents. Teens would want to enjoy more with the privacy of their room, will be homeless often enjoying freedom with their friends and their social life.  


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Types Of Parenting And Their Effects On Children


The way you handle your child is vital in determining what kind of person he becomes in the future. This is why you need to ensure yourself that your parenting style supports your child’s growth and development because how you discipline her and show her how much you love her through the way you are as a parent will affect her for the rest of her life.

The Four Parenting Styles

  1. Authoritative

The authoritative parent may sound like this:

  • When he informs his child of the rules, he explains them clearly.
  • He tries his best to create and keep a positive interaction with his child.
  • He is strict with his rules and implementing the consequences, but he considers his child’s feelings.

Are you authoritative? These kinds of parents are stringent, but they never forget to acknowledge his child’s suggestions. Although they want to be clear that they are completely in charge, they validate their child’s feelings and listen to what they have to say. They are also for positive reinforcement and discipline, such as implementing the reward and punishment system. Children whose parents are authoritative are reportedly happy and tend to be more successful in the future.

  1. Authoritarian

Authoritarian parents believe that:

  • Children should be visible only, but their words don’t matter.
  • Their feelings are not important and should not be considered.
  • Their rules are unbent and inconsiderate.

If you have been disciplining your child this way, then you are an authoritarian parent. You tend to force your kids to follow the rules without any exception. And if their kids ask them why, their famous line would be, “Because I said so.” Negotiation is a no-no, and obedience is a must without bending any rules. Children with authoritarian parents grow to have low self-esteem and have a likelihood of being aggressive and hostile.


  1. Permissive

If you are a permissive parent, you tend to:

  • Rarely implement or establish consequences.
  • Not enforce the rules that you set for your child.
  • Let your child grow and learn with little supervision and monitoring from you.

Being permissive is actually being lenient, and they don’t stress themselves with petty issues but only come in when the problem is severe. Permissive parents are quite tolerant and believe that kids will always be kids, so they just let them. They are usually more comfortable with their children growing up feeling like they’re friends with them, but just as they are lenient, they don’t put in much effort in helping them solve their problems. Thus, they most often have weak and insecure kids – kids who exhibit unpleasant behavior and poor decision-making skills. Additionally, these kids don’t develop good hygiene.

  1. Uninvolved

As the statement implies, you:

  • Spend very little time with your child, even though you may have the time.
  • You don’t care about your child’s school, homework, friends, or anything that may concern him.
  • You don’t usually know what your child does when he’s at home, or where he goes when he’s not home.

Children whose parents are uninvolved lack parental attention, guidance, and nurturing. Thus, their kids are trying to raise themselves because their parents don’t have time to commit to their basic needs, and worse, some of them do not know much about child-rearing.



There are times when parents don’t belong to the four types of styles, so don’t worry if there are instances or areas where you tend to be permissive or authoritarian. If you have the commitment and motivation to be the best parent you can be to your child, keep your mind open to suggestions and learn more about positive parenting. It’s not too late.




Considering Adoption: Are You Ready To Be An Adoptive Parent?


You and your spouse have been thinking of adopting from some time now. Your family and close friends are asking you what you’re waiting for while some are concerned about the concept of you having to raise a child that is not yours biologically. Whether there are a lot more who are against it or vice versa, the final decision must be made by you and your spouse, and it should be a decision that is not to be made with haste.

There are a lot of sources you can read from if you want to know more about adoption, and as you learn more about it, you’ll get to know the pros and cons of adopting a child. But regardless, here is a list of some questions you can ask yourself before deciding to go for adoption.

Do I have a thorough understanding of how adoption works?

Aside from being able to comprehend the different types of adoption, you must be aware of the federal, state, and international laws that are involved in the process of adoption. Study how the system from beginning to end so that whatever happens along the way, you can deal with it without little to no frustrations. The more you understand the system, the better it will be for you and your spouse.

Am I patient?

The whole process of adopting can take time. In fact, it can take years before the confirmation to adopt is released, and for someone who wants to raise a child so badly, it can be pretty sad and depressing. So be sure you are patient enough to wait – and sometimes wait for nothing. If you can be patient with things like this, then you sure are ready to raise a child who can be the most stubborn and annoying human beings at times!


Are you emotionally strong or stable?

Adoption is a two-way street. It can bring out the best or the worst in you. No one knows how well they are at parenting until they have a child of their own, and that goes for you as an adoptive parent. You’ll know if you are good at it once you’ve managed to raise your adopted child to be a strong, kind, and happy person. But what if you’ll have to go through many challenges before you get to that stage? Are you strong and resilient enough to surpass these challenges? Or what if the adoption doesn’t push through in the first place? Be prepared emotionally and keep in mind that anything can happen.

Are you hesitant to deal with behavioral, emotional, and mental health problems?

Having children entails a lot of things, including the potential for perfect or imperfect health. Adoptive parents must be aware of the effects that trauma has on foster or adopted children. Also, you should acknowledge that your child may have potential issues that he may be facing. You can also ask about his biological parents and family, although sometimes that would be impossible.

Do you have a strong support system?

Do you have an understanding family and supportive friends who are with you in this journey? This means that whatever happens, you have a support network that you can lean on to help you deal with whatever you may be facing. If your family and significant others understand what you are going through and they are willing to support and guide you all the way, then you are stronger than you think. Connect with them regardless of whether the adoption pushes through or not.

Do you feel that adoption is your calling?


This question is vital in that it reflects how much the adoption means to you. When you think about adopting, what goes through your mind? Is it the responsibility, the sense of just having a kid, or is it a sense of fulfillment of having to take care and love a child like your own? You must have a strong and meaningful purpose of why you are adopting.

Final Thoughts

Being an adoptive parent is a challenge as well as a blessing. A lot of adoptive families have been happy making wonderful memories together, keeping them strong and fulfilled. Do you think you are ready to take on the challenge and the blessing? If you say yes, then start the process right now. Seize the opportunity! Good luck!




How To Be A More Effective Parent


Raising a child is among the hardest and yet the most satisfying jobs in the world. It is also one that you are hesitant to do because you might feel that you’re not ready to take on the responsibility of being a parent.

Below is a list of strategies that you can follow to help you become a more effective parent.

  • Find Ways To Boost Your Kid’s Self-Esteem. Part of your responsibility as a parent is raising your child to be loving and confident. Always tell him that he’s special and that he is unique. Teach him how to take advantage of his skills by showing them and not hiding them. Support him in his hobbies like sports or any activity that is beneficial for his mental and emotional growth. And when he accomplishes something, remember to praise him for a job well done. Boosting your child’s confidence will help him be whatever he wants to be.
  • Discipline Consistently. Disciplining your child is essential in every family, and it takes many forms. However, you must choose to discipline your child consistently and respectfully. This means that you set your limitations in terms of the rules and guidelines and the necessary consequences that you enforce on him. Give him house rules that are stringent enough for you to be able to check on him, but with sufficient freedom, for him to be able to grow. If he breaks a rule, be consistent in enforcing the consequence. Maybe a first warning would be fair before the final ‘punishment.’


  • Have Kids’ Time. Spending time with the family is one thing, but having kids’ time is another. This can mean that you must spare a few hours each day to talk with each of them, asking them how they are and how’s school. On the weekends, you can watch a movie or if you’re on a budget, just have a cook session with them. It’s a creative activity that allows parents and kids to bond. If you’re a working mom or dad, let your kids understand that the time you spend with them may be short but precious and with much effort.
  • Practice What You Preach. Children learn better when they are following an adult, so whatever good you are teaching them, you must also do. If you want them to be responsible at home, start with you. Help your spouse with the chores at home. Be respectful. Talk in ways that you understand each other. When reprimanding your children, do it in a mild tone of voice. Whatever you do, remember that the younger generation is looking at you to be their role model in everything.
  • Teach Your Kids To Be Active In The Community. If you want your children to learn how to socialize, explain to them why it is important to join community activities. Don’t just let them do things because you want them to. Encourage them to volunteer in soup kitchens or watch community dialogues so that they will meet fellow community members and establish camaraderie and cultivate values like kindness, generosity, and compassion. Listen to their suggestions as well and let them know that they are appreciated.
  • Love Them, Unconditionally. Teaching, guiding, and correcting your kid are examples of ways to show that you love them. It is in how you do these things that will make all the difference. When you talk with them, do not judge or criticize them with hurtful words. If you made a mistake and you need to enforce the consequence, don’t forget to tell them that you love them unconditionally and that consequences are there to teach them what is right from wrong.


  • Take Care Of Yourself. In the middle of taking care of your children and your family, do take care of yourself. If you overdo the parenting responsibility, it can take a toll on your wellness, and it’ll affect not only you but the rest of the family as well. It is quite a fulfillment to be able to see your family happy, but please remember that it also includes you. Find time to address your needs so that you will be healthy and able to do what it takes to raise a happy, healthy, and productive family.




Parenting Manual: Raising Your Kids To Be Responsible


When you teach a child to be loving, kind, and responsible, you are helping him learn how to be a reliable and trustworthy adult who is accountable for his actions. Find out how to do it through these simple strategies.

  • Let them start at a young age. A five or six-year-old may have trouble washing the dishes, but she can set the table or return her toys after playing. These easy tasks are basic and can train them to do more complicated tasks in the future.
  • For them to follow instructions properly, show them first how it’s done, and then let them do it themselves. Answer their questions clearly and be thorough in what you want them to accomplish. When you do the task, make sure you’re doing it the way you want them to do it. Kids are great imitators, and they are even much eager to do something when it is shown to them.
  • When they’ve tried doing simple tasks, let them teach their siblings or playmates how something should be done. It’s a good way for them to remember tasks by heart, and they love feeling like they’re little leaders.


  • Be a role model. What you want to teach your kids, practice it yourself. Don’t try to instill respect in them and then just shout at your spouse and reprimand them inappropriately. By being responsible, loving, reliable, and empathic inwardly and outwardly, it will be easier for you to instill these values unto them.
  • Don’t hesitate to apologize when you’ve done something wrong. Some kids think that their parents never make mistakes, and they feel frustrated when we scold them for things they do. Let them know that we’re human too, and we do make mistakes, and there’s no shame in making one. The shame is when you do something wrong and don’t do something about it. Accepting fault is also part of learning how to take responsibility for our actions.
  • When you reprimand, try not to yell, nag, or criticize them. This will do no good for their emotional development and rather hurt their self-esteem, especially if you do it in front of many people. Sometimes, it might be difficult to control your temper, but we might need to take a breather first before we do so. Correcting and teaching do not include judging.
  • Designate a task for your child to do within the family. This doesn’t only make him feel like he belongs but also makes him grow up with the notion that responsibilities are part of life whether you’re young or old. Watering the garden is an exercise and task at the same time. Feeding and walking your pet dog, if you have, is also something that he can do.


  • Work home chores as a family to remind your child that it’s not more on the chores but the act of responsibly following through them and having a task like everyone else in the family.
  • Along with teaching responsibility to your child is the loving reminder that she is loved so much. It is the love that is fueling you as a parent to teach your child to be good and kind and to be the best son or daughter and person and ready to take on the future with confidence.