The way you handle your child is vital in determining what kind of person he becomes in the future. This is why you need to ensure yourself that your parenting style supports your child’s growth and development because how you discipline her and show her how much you love her through the way you are as a parent will affect her for the rest of her life.
The Four Parenting Styles
The authoritative parent may sound like this:
- When he informs his child of the rules, he explains them clearly.
- He tries his best to create and keep a positive interaction with his child.
- He is strict with his rules and implementing the consequences, but he considers his child’s feelings.
Are you authoritative? These kinds of parents are stringent, but they never forget to acknowledge his child’s suggestions. Although they want to be clear that they are completely in charge, they validate their child’s feelings and listen to what they have to say. They are also for positive reinforcement and discipline, such as implementing the reward and punishment system. Children whose parents are authoritative are reportedly happy and tend to be more successful in the future.
Authoritarian parents believe that:
- Children should be visible only, but their words don’t matter.
- Their feelings are not important and should not be considered.
- Their rules are unbent and inconsiderate.
If you have been disciplining your child this way, then you are an authoritarian parent. You tend to force your kids to follow the rules without any exception. And if their kids ask them why, their famous line would be, “Because I said so.” Negotiation is a no-no, and obedience is a must without bending any rules. Children with authoritarian parents grow to have low self-esteem and have a likelihood of being aggressive and hostile.
If you are a permissive parent, you tend to:
- Rarely implement or establish consequences.
- Not enforce the rules that you set for your child.
- Let your child grow and learn with little supervision and monitoring from you.
Being permissive is actually being lenient, and they don’t stress themselves with petty issues but only come in when the problem is severe. Permissive parents are quite tolerant and believe that kids will always be kids, so they just let them. They are usually more comfortable with their children growing up feeling like they’re friends with them, but just as they are lenient, they don’t put in much effort in helping them solve their problems. Thus, they most often have weak and insecure kids – kids who exhibit unpleasant behavior and poor decision-making skills. Additionally, these kids don’t develop good hygiene.
As the statement implies, you:
- Spend very little time with your child, even though you may have the time.
- You don’t care about your child’s school, homework, friends, or anything that may concern him.
- You don’t usually know what your child does when he’s at home, or where he goes when he’s not home.
Children whose parents are uninvolved lack parental attention, guidance, and nurturing. Thus, their kids are trying to raise themselves because their parents don’t have time to commit to their basic needs, and worse, some of them do not know much about child-rearing.
There are times when parents don’t belong to the four types of styles, so don’t worry if there are instances or areas where you tend to be permissive or authoritarian. If you have the commitment and motivation to be the best parent you can be to your child, keep your mind open to suggestions and learn more about positive parenting. It’s not too late.